Humor House: Silly consumer warnings
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Here are some silly quotes from actual consumer product packages and instructions, as well as from newspapers.
On a bag of JONNY CAT cat litter -- "JONNY CAT is the best value for your money. A 20-pound bag of JONNY CAT contains 25% more litter than 16-pound bags, and 43% more than 14-pound bags!"
From a kid's Superman costume for Halloween (stitched into the cape's tag) -- "Warning: Use of This Device Does Not Enable Wearer To Fly."
From a Pop-Tart box -- "Warning: Pastry Filling May Be Hot When Heated."
From a newspaper article -- "A congressionally funded study has determined that many smokers are ignoring the warning labels on cigarette packages"
From a hair blow-dryer instruction sheet -- "Warning: Do Not Use While Sleeping."
On the package for Top Cog fan belts (for automobiles) -- "Do not change the belt while the engine is running."
From a Boston Globe piece, during a 1973 summer heat wave describing ways to beat the heat -- "No. 1: Stay out of the direct rays of the sun."
Found on the inside of a pull top lid of a liquid radiator sealant -- "Caution: DO NOT LICK LID."
Written on the back of one of those things you put in your car windshield on sunny days when you park to keep your dash from melting -- "DO NOT OPERATE VEHICLE WITH SCREEN IN PLACE."
From the Indigo PC Owners Manual pp.6-9 -- "Hardware Dos and Don'ts: Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw mouse at co-workers."
On a box of those cloth roller towels in a restroom -- "Warning! Improper use may cause serious injury or death!"
Posted at 07:36 PM on Tuesday,
June 24, 2003
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On a Revlon curling iron....do not use while showering.
- Posted by: Blondie on Tuesday, June 24, 2003
Inside a Sony portable CD player : Warning remove this peice of paper before operating.
On unknown Christmas lights : for indoor or outdoor use only.
- Posted by: Koz on Tuesday, June 24, 2003
On the top of a set mouse trap: WARNING don't try to remove this notice
- Posted by: What the?!! on Tuesday, June 24, 2003
On an oven: turn on to cook food
- Posted by: Funny bugger on Tuesday, June 24, 2003
On Nytol Sleeping Aid: WARNING may cause drowsiness
On American Airlines package of nuts: open packet, eat nuts
- Posted by: Vanessa Menendez on Tuesday, June 24, 2003
On the side of a tampon box: step 5, pull up underwear. On the same box: Do not insert more than one tampon at a time.
- Posted by: pretty girl on Monday, October 06, 2003
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Date of initial entry: 07/29/02
Date of last update: 02/15/04
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